Free speech or how do we want our discussions?

tbossmc2000 · Post by **tbossmc2000** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 3:14 pm

I too take my hat off to Elaine, GG, Dunda. I agree and disagree with a lot of the posts.
In life I feel there is no either or there is room for both.
We are not going to like everyone and everthing that is posted.
It's a simple solution, change the channel. When a thread goes on and on about a subject I am not interested in I go to another thread.
We are here to have fun, share our common interrest in a celebrity. As passionate members and some high spirited we are going to have heated debates. NOTHING is personal and one shouldn't take it as personal.
DtD provides a safe place for people to come. Sometimes people live vicariously
thru other people.
I have sat back and been quiet. It was not an easy task at times. I wanted to speak my opinion but did feel intemidated by some members and there firm feelings.
I actaully have felt liberated since Daniel made a relationship change. It feels more like an equal playing field. Some silent messages have now lifted in my mind.
No one said life would be fair and nothing ever stays the same.

bumblebee · Post by **bumblebee** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 3:20 pm

tbossmc2000 wrote: I actaully have felt liberated since Daniel made a relationship change. It feels more like an equal playing field. Some silent messages have now lifted in my mind.
No one said life would be fair and nothing ever stays the same.

Interesting perspective, I like it. So you think we are all in with a chance then!

tbossmc2000 · Post by **tbossmc2000** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 3:23 pm

bumblebee wrote:
tbossmc2000 wrote: I actaully have felt liberated since Daniel made a relationship change. It feels more like an equal playing field. Some silent messages have now lifted in my mind.
No one said life would be fair and nothing ever stays the same.
Interesting perspective, I like it. So you think we are all in with a chance then!

Never say never Mrs. B. You might have a chance. me, nah

Post by **Dunda** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:06 pm

JEC57 wrote:Thanks - that's very interesting and interesting that strangers can see profiles, (not that mine contains anything anyway!).

I just had a closer look on this matter.

Unregistered can't view profiles.

When you come on the main DtD Forum page you see this

At the moment when you click on Profile, it shows on the Admin Screen as "Guest" "Viewing profile", but the unregistered only gets the logon screen.

caramel · Post by **caramel** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:16 pm

I will take my turn to reflect-

As said above by all, I very much appreciate Dunda, Gg and Elaine for taking what they do seriously and providing fans like us a safe environment to chat and post our opinions about DC.

I think the main conditions to be a member of this wonderful site is that one has to be a fan of Daniel , be respectful towards him and fellow posters. There is no necessity to like his GF too. If we do, I guess that's great! If not, like a few suggested there are other options like focusing on D's other threads- and there are so many.

I assume by now, I must have made an impression of being a huge fan of this romance . I am not going to apologize for that. Believe me, I can squee harder for these two but I am suppressing my emotions too, for I don't want to make those that don't appreciate D/R as a couple uncomfortable....

But fans like me who like D/R ( there are a few here, I am sure

) should also be in a position to show their excitement in the dedicated threads. I think it is just a matter of time before we can strike a balance. Hopefully we adjust as we go along.

Even though this forum is for Daniel first and foremost, I guess to discuss his love life is fair game, if that is done with respect . R is a new addition. I see only a couple of threads where she also plays an important role. At a time like this when D's solo news is slow, and his love life is alive and thriving and we get info about that, these threads seem more active . I can see this changing when his movies start coming out in the next few months , one after the other in quick succession.

I have to confess that I appreciate where JEC is coming from when I read her post a few days back, where she mentioned that she was not feeling like posting much as she wasn't into R. Well, I went through the same mentality when it was all about Sats. One of the reasons I wasn't posting much then.......so yeah I guess D's choices in life affect us in such weird ways

Kudos to those who were able to transfer their affections. I don't know if I can.

I hope that in my very vocal support of R I did not hurt anyone's feelings in anyway. I personally believe in not saying something too negative in an open forum like this if I can help it .

chrissie65 · Post by **chrissie65** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:32 pm

I would so much like to add something too on here, but I guess I'm too much a coward to do so. I'm pretty scared I might be called a "slimy" or even worse once again. There'd already been too much damage done in my case, and it still hurts like crazy.

$abbatha · Post by **$abbatha** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:24 am

I've read carefully all comments posted after mine was.

The thing that really to me it's impossible to do is change subject,change thread,or do not browse at all the threads that often,the most parts actually, chatting about Weisz.

These threads are the most popular,these threads gets the large numbers of daily comments,how is supposed for me to still be an active member of this board, if i can't post my comments on the most popular threads,due obviously to my criticism towards Weisz?

Surely is even my exclusive problem,but if really i don't wish to provoke heated discussion,that could even end in fighting, posting my critical/negative comments the best thing to do is refrain from posting about Weisz,but this means ,substantially,that i can't be no longer an active member of this board.

And honestly i don't share the opinions of people that said that we are grown ups and the we should accept any comments ,even the not nicer ones , only beacuse this is the way boards works. I still believe that if two point of view are extremely different,on the opposite sides i would say, and isn't present any common ground, it's impossible to have a useful and serene debating.
Every comments would taken as merely provoking,mainly because when someone has a negative point of view,let's say this, it's very easy and tends to being often misunderstood.

The forum is surely larger,there are a lot of interesting threads but right now the most popular are about Weisz,directly related to her or that just simply pertain to her.

Caramel your post is the proof that if we don't like a certain situation it's almost impossible to posting frequently.

So if i cut off Weisz as argument from the threads most popular what else remains?
I should just stand aside and maybe give just a quick reading , as we're used to say in Italy: i could make only tapestry.

Look people this is not a complaint really,it's just a longer explanation of how i feel in these days lately.

tbossmc2000 · Post by **tbossmc2000** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:39 am

$abbatha wrote:I've read carefully all comments posted after mine was.

The thing that really to me it's impossible to do is change subject,change thread,or do not browse at all the threads that often,the most parts actually, chatting about Weisz.

These threads are the most popular,these threads gets the large numbers of daily comments,how is supposed for me to still be an active member of this board, if i can't post my comments on the most popular threads,due obviously to my criticism towards Weisz?

Surely is even my exclusive problem,but if really i don't wish to provoke heated discussion,that could even end in fighting, posting my critical/negative comments the best thing to do is refrain from posting about Weisz,but this means ,substantially,that i can't be no longer an active member of this board.

And honestly i don't share the opinions of people that said that we are grown ups and the we should accept any comments ,even the not nicer ones , only beacuse this is the way boards works. I still believe that if two point of view are extremely different,on the opposite sides i would say, and isn't present any common ground, it's impossible to have a useful and serene debating.
Every comments would taken as merely provoking,mainly because when someone has a negative point of view,let's say this, it's very easy and tends to being often misunderstood.

The forum is surely larger,there are a lot of interesting threads but right now the most popular are about Weisz,directly related to her or that just simply pertain to her.

Caramel your post is the proof that if we don't like a certain situation it's almost impossible to posting frequently.

So if i cut off Weisz as argument from the threads most popular what else remains?
I should just stand aside and maybe give just a quick reading , as we're used to say in Italy: i could make only tapestry.

Look people this is not a complaint really,it's just a longer explanation of how i feel in these days lately.

$ab, so I understand you want to visit the threads about Rachel. Your view of her is clear to me, I know you don't care for her but you want to engage in converstion about her? am I on track with that?
When I said if someone doesn't like what is being said on a thread to change the channel it's my suggestion, I think you understand where I am coming from.
I encouurage you to continue to post as you do and read thread. You are so talented and do beautiful art, you contribute a lot to the forum.

sf2la · Post by **sf2la** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:46 am

As Carmel says, right now the news about Daniel IS Rachel (except for the Equals video.) When his movies come out, when he's on talk shows, etc., there will be plenty of topics unrelated to Rachel.

I prefer a board that isn't a love fest for Daniel's woman, if not everyone feels that way. I'd like people to just post what they feel - just don't attack another poster and don't make viscous comments about Rachel as was done with Sats on JJ. That ugliness is disturbing, IMO. I'd like for people to feel comfortable posting honest opinions.

However, if Rachel is the love of his life, and she's going to be with him at every opportunity, I would think it might be difficult to look at pics and videos of them together. That's going to be tough to avoid. Heck, what if they marry?

I just feel very fortunate that the transition has been easy for me. I really liked Sats and I really like Rachel. He's a good picker. It seems like the women in his life have joined him through specific segments of his growing career. He's an A-lister now, and sure will be locked into that after this year; I see Rachel fitting nicely into the partner/lover role as they have so much in common.

tbossmc2000 · Post by **tbossmc2000** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:54 am

Chrissie65 wrote:I would so much like to add something too on here, but I guess I'm too much a coward to do so. I'm pretty scared I might be called a "slimy" or even worse once again. There'd already been too much damage done in my case, and it still hurts like crazy.

[/quote]
Chrrissie, I know its tough and your are sacred. But you will find it in you to post something. we are all supportive.

it's not hard. Just like walking 1 step at a time, 1 word at a time. I'll be waiting.

$abbatha · Post by **$abbatha** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:38 am

tbossmc2000 wrote: $ab, so I understand you want to visit the threads about Rachel. Your view of her is clear to me, I know you don't care for her but you want to engage in converstion about her? am I on track with that?
When I said if someone doesn't like what is being said on a thread to change the channel it's my suggestion, I think you understand where I am coming from.
I encouurage you to continue to post as you do and read thread. You are so talented and do beautiful art, you contribute a lot to the forum.

Boss the converse ^^"
I can't speak of Weisz,i'm sorry,i just can't.
Basically is part of my past.So many years ago i had to manage the same exact situation that Mitchell did few months ago,it's an imprinting.
I know what you're saying don't worry,and i don't like to act as victim cause i'm not.
I wrote,i posted,i assume full responsability of what i posted and wrote.
But i really don't love to ruin the atmosphere of the board,i would like that all of you having your own fun.
But since i have this odd opinion about Weisz me and myself only on the board to avoid useless heated debating it's better fot me to stop posting about her for a while.

It's the wiser thing to do, i guess...

Thanks for the positive rating about my artworks , but you see that i don't post from a while some , mainly because my mood isn't just right for this.

sf2la wrote:As Carmel says, right now the news about Daniel IS Rachel (except for the Equals video.) When his movies come out, when he's on talk shows, etc., there will be plenty of topics unrelated to Rachel.

I prefer a board that isn't a love fest for Daniel's woman, if not everyone feels that way. I'd like people to just post what they feel - just don't attack another poster and don't make viscous comments about Rachel as was done with Sats on JJ. That ugliness is disturbing, IMO. I'd like for people to feel comfortable posting honest opinions.

However, if Rachel is the love of his life, and she's going to be with him at every opportunity, I would think it might be difficult to look at pics and videos of them together. That's going to be tough to avoid. Heck, what if they marry?

I just feel very fortunate that the transition has been easy for me. I really liked Sats and I really like Rachel. He's a good picker. It seems like the women in his life have joined him through specific segments of his growing career. He's an A-lister now, and sure will be locked into that after this year; I see Rachel fitting nicely into the partner/lover role as they have so much in common.

Sf i already wrote what i think about this board,it's a lovely place,full of interesting threads, and i guess it's useless to write my positive rating about the board again.

I guess that when some movies will come out in theatres, i will be the last involved into the discussion threads,mainly because i will see later the movies , and if i want to enjoy the movies would better for me to not get too much information about its,don't know if makes sense.

Since the most popular conversations would be tied to Weisz i will prefer to skip.

To me this transition unfortunately was not easy.

Weisz isn't really a nice argument of conversation to me.

tbossmc2000 · Post by **tbossmc2000** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:10 am

Basically is part of my past.So many years ago i had to manage the same exact situation that Mitchell did few months ago,it's an imprinting.
$ab, I feel your pain, good god I know your pain all to well.
I do have to say only 2 people know what happened in their realtionship, that would be Daniel and Satsuki. We can only speculate.
Don't be so hard on yourself, your wounds are probably still very fresh. People told me when I was in so much pain that it would get better, I would say bull shit, but you know what., it did get better. I promise you it will.
This is why this forum is so good for me in so many ways.
I understand about your art, I actually haven't been inspired to write a story,
We go with the flow eh?

$abbatha · Post by **$abbatha** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:28 am

tbossmc2000 wrote:
Basically is part of my past.So many years ago i had to manage the same exact situation that Mitchell did few months ago,it's an imprinting.
$ab, I feel your pain, good god I know your pain all to well.
I do have to say only 2 people know what happened in their realtionship, that would be Daniel and Satsuki. We can only speculate.
Don't be so hard on yourself, your wounds are probably still very fresh. People told me when I was in so much pain that it would get better, I would say bull shit, but you know what., it did get better. I promise you it will.
This is why this forum is so good for me in so many ways.
I understand about your art, I actually haven't been inspired to write a story,
We go with the flow eh?

Yeah we're connected,and i can confirm that when sombedy told you that time should healed your wounds you tend to think that is big fat lie.
This happens a long time ago,but due to this i refused to give to Him,the right guy, and myself a chance.
It's nobody's fault but mine.
We can only speculate about Craig and Mitchell but it's it bring me there,and yes,it hurts.I just can't help myself.
Yeah..i hope will be better in time

chrissie65 · Post by **chrissie65** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:35 am

Chrissie65 wrote:I would so much like to add something too on here, but I guess I'm too much a coward to do so. I'm pretty scared I might be called a "slimy" or even worse once again. There'd already been too much damage done in my case, and it still hurts like crazy.

[/quote]

tbossmc2000 wrote: Chrrissie, I know its tough and your are sacred. But you will find it in you to post something. we are all supportive. it's not hard. Just like walking 1 step at a time, 1 word at a time. I'll be waiting.

Thanks for your kind words, Toni, but I don't think it would be such a good idea for me to start posting on here again someday soon. Frankly it's some kind of seventh wonder that I could force myself to write something on this particular thread yesterday, anyway. Being accused of "sliming my way back to the forum" (besides some other unkind things) after posting that I like a robe that Sats is wearing on a photo and a new avi of one member just had been a bitter pill to swallow for I really couldn't find anything wrong with this at all. And it still doesn't matter to me that I'd only got to read this because of a technical problem for it's quite clear that it wasn't meant for my eyes. The fact is that I finally GOT to read it, 'though it had been deleted only a few minutes later. And it had cut me deep down inside because it just made me feel that I'm not being wanted on this forum, especially since I didn't get any kind of support from anybody on here at all.

Germangirl · Post by **Germangirl** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 11:04 am

This was indeed an unfortunate incident and it had happened once again and we still don't know the reason for it. I wouldn't want to know either, what people might call me right now behind the scenes. ( I doubt I am gonna win any popularity contest any time soon

) It happens to most of us, only you got to read it. I think, sometimes just to flounce it off might be a good thing. Even I have my sensitivities, yeah folks, but when I let it get the better of me, I would feel bad and why would I do that to me?
Maybe remember, that I have proved in "real" life, that I am on your side and tried to help you with certain matters - even if it doesn't always mean, I agreed with you on all levels. Is friendship about being a Yaysayer? I very much find myself asking this question recently. Answer to myself - NO - much au contraire. Friendship is about being honest in my book and I am not gonna change that attitude.
But I went off topic to underline, that I DO think, above is the best way to deal with these matters in order to not get sick over it and still get fun out of it.

So IMO - those of us, who want to be part of this, might need to accept, we we are all failable, are all bound to get kicked in our pfa's once in a while and are all not acting to the best of this community either all the time. Such is life and this goes for all things in life IMO - its your decision - take it or leave it.