Keith Richards takes over James Bond role from Daniel Craig

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mickey01
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Keith Richards takes over James Bond role from Daniel Craig

Post by mickey01 » Sun Jun 03, 2007 3:38 pm

Hi everyone,

Oh I do love these stories:

Keith Richards takes over James Bond role from Daniel Craig

London - In a stunning announcement, MGM studios and Albert Broccoli jointly named Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones as the new James Bond, effectively replacing Daniel Craig, who last starred in the biggest Bond blockbuster ever, "Casino Royale."

This announcement comes in the wake of Richards' highly acclaimed performance in the summer blockbuster, "Pirates of the Carribean" where he plays the role of Teague Sparrow, Jack Sparrow's father.

"We just feel that Mr. Richards could add a new dimension to the Bond character---no offense to Mr. Craig, who played the part of a young Bond to perfection," Mr. Broccoli announced.

The new Bond film, tentatively titled "You Can't Kill Me If You Tried Hard, Twice" will depict an aging James Bond who is struggling with his fame and fortune, alcoholism, drug use, and developing a penchant for loud rock and roll music. The plot also focuses heavily on a romance between Bond and M (to be reprised by Judi Dench).

Richards is said to be "elated" by the announcement, and is "heavily looking forward" to "getting in shape" for the role. His initial plans, focused towards weight lifting and spending hours in the gym to muscle up for the role, have changed as he learned of the plot.

"Me needs not to do anything at all," says Richards with a whiskey throated laugh. "Just be me-self, is all." Broccoli also noted that along with the role, Richards has a "free hand" in choosing the sponsors of the movie franchise.

Insiders say that Richards is moving to replace Aston Martin with Harley-Davidson as his official vehicle, and is leaning towards a corn-cob pipe (unbranded) as his favorite "gagdet" of choice instead of Omega watches.

Most intriguing of all is Richards' said choice of drink. Instead of Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred, Richards is said to be lobbying for a cocktail of Coke, Jack Daniels and Rebel Yell whiskey, "bottoms up!", to be called "Bond's Bomb," though this has yet to be confirmed.

Johnny Depp is slated to make a small appearance in the movie as Bond's son with M. The son's role, small yet pivotal, revolves around his angst and frustration over not having received attention from Bond Sr. as a child.



Heehee!

TTFN x

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Dunda
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Post by Dunda » Sun Jun 03, 2007 3:50 pm

Image Image :lol:

Great story!

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Laredo
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Post by Laredo » Sun Jun 03, 2007 3:56 pm

I am still congested , it hurts when I laugh so hard ...and I start coughin :idea: g...

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Laredo
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Post by Laredo » Sun Jun 03, 2007 3:57 pm

I am still congested , it hurts when I laugh so hard ...and I start coughing... :(

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Anglophile
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Post by Anglophile » Sun Jun 03, 2007 9:52 pm

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sarahat
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Post by sarahat » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:42 am

That's the fakest bull I think I've ever read......... wow.

Where the hell did you find this load of crap? lol.
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shopper12
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Post by shopper12 » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:41 am

Hmm. I think that's worse than the gay Bond rumour. :)

I'm guessing all of that is a complete wind-up. :D

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Marisa
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Post by Marisa » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:16 pm

That article is hysterical! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Yes, considerably

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Hannah
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Post by Hannah » Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:17 pm

this is one of the funniest 'rumours' I've ever heard about :lol: :lol: still laughing 8)
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007cheese
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Post by 007cheese » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:35 am

Hee hee hee...hee...*attempts to breathe, fails, passes out smiling*
Well, if he can play Johnny Depp's pirate father, then he can play an older Daniel Craig spy, right? Right? *looses control again, more laughing*
Ahhh...although I don't want to imagine Keith Richards being at all connected with Daniel. Not that I hate him...but he hasn't aged gracefully in any part of his life, and I would hope that Daniel Craig doesn't turn into anything like that. I find that impossible to believe.
But great funny article, thanks Mickey!
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