The Mock Oscars: I Noticed
The Oscar for achievement in directing is coveted, prestigious and entirely too vague. Excellence in directing...what? A sinking ship? A really stupid guy? Gwyneth Paltrow? If you were to file those in my new filmmaking classification system (trademarked, thank you very much) they would fall under Excellence in Directing Things that Make The Madame Want to Kill Herself. The pride they must feel.
But that is not what I want to get into: I want to recognize
Excellence in Directing the Perfect Male Specimen in a Way that Pleases Me. The competition in this category is in no way stiff enough (pun totally intended) in my opinion, although there have been, over the years, some very worthy entrants, particularly involving a Newman, a Grant or an Early Pitt. But the winner of this substantial (heeey, I’m on fire) accolade is Martin Campbell, whose many contributions to the Nice to Look At category, such as Daniel Craig in shorta pants (wet), Daniel Craig in a tuxedo (wet) and Daniel Craig naked in a chair (whoa), made him the clear front runner. Please come to Casa Mockingbird to collect your award, a pack of cigarettes, at your earliest convenience, and thank you for giving us a break from the Stoner Schlub as Sex Object reign of terror.
I'm pretty sure there was a plot as well,
Madame Taunt
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